Lyon’s Pub

Lyon’s Pub

16 S 6th St
Minneapolis, MN 55402
(612) 333-6612














Cost:

Marriot (Bacon Cheeseburger): $8
Coke: $2
Onions: $0.35
Ranch: $0.50
Tax: $1
Tip: 20%

Total: $14.22

One word I wish hadn’t entered the lexicon is “upcharge.” This word is so new that my spellcheck thinks I meant to type, “Uncharged.” No, spellcheck, you are wrong though I wish you were right. With gas reaching $5.00 a gallon and going to the movies costing well over $50 I really am not in the mood to be nickel and dimed. If I want mayo on my burger I expect it to be on the house. Onions? Since when were onions a rare commodity that required a separate charge? Don’t get me started about having ranch dressing on the side. I feel like I am spending my life gathering enough money so that I can go out to a decent meal without worrying about how much the freaking condiments are going to cost. “Would you like ketchup with that?” Used to be a simple pleasantry. Now it is cause for inner turmoil.

Lyons. Decent enough place. Pleasant atmosphere, especially with the large window open next to the table. The wait staff was friendly and the drinks were refilled promptly. The burgers were reasonable priced as well. Recipe for success, or so you’d think. Then came the upcharges. “Would you like some bleu cheese with that?” Why, sure! Thanks for asking! $0.50 later the bleu cheese is even more of a vehicle for a coronary than its ingredients would imply. Onion with your burger? $0.35. Ranch for your fries? $0.50. Surprise when you get the bill? Indeed. Now it may seem like adding a total of $1.35 to your bill isn’t that much to ask, but I ask you, where do we draw the line? Do I need to check to make sure the mustard isn’t going to cost me additional funds? My principles feel like Paris Hilton on the way to amateur porn night. I think they’re worth something but upon closer inspection I see that they’ve been violated so many times that I am well beyond caring about their credibility. But, no more! It stops. At Lyons.

The nuts and bolts. Everyone enjoyed their burgers even though the buns were not toasted. The fries however were terrible. They looked like they were crispy, which is a sure fire way to please us here at Burger BP, but in fact they were limp and charred. Pub burgers all seem to run together after a while. The difference maker then becomes the fries. And these fries are almost inedible. If the upcharges weren't so present I could maybe look past the fries considering the low initial cost of the burger. As it stands this was my first and last visit to Lyon's.


Rating:

Big Ups:

Good location, atmosphere and service.

Under Surveillance:

You see a $7.45 burger on the menu but will end up paying closer to $10.00.

Final Word:

Good burger overall, but the fries are iffy at best.

MyKenna's

MyKenna's

900 2nd Ave S # 700, Minneapolis
(612) 339-8787











Meals:

Cheeseburger with ketchup and mayo, and fries
Cheeseburger with everything and fries

Total cost per meal: $6.88 not including beverage

Teenaged girls dressed like cheerleaders giggle and twist through downtown lunch traffic. Long legs and lipstick smiles are everywhere. What this portends I do not know. Wading through these 21st century sirens brings us closer to our destination of choice; MyKenna’s. It is as difficult to locate in cyberspace as in is in reality. MyKenna’s lays off the beaten path of your usual skyway fare. You will need to maneuver past those lost souls who are in the Taco Tuesday line as well as fight through the stench of old bread and success as a large cutout of a formerly large man named Jerrod tries to lure you in. What awaits you is MyKenna’s. Is it worth the trek? Well, I did mention the cheerleaders…

A friendly enough atmosphere and deli style service greeted us as we walked in. Lines are everywhere. The first we entered was to place an order. We then shuffled aside and lined up to receive our meal. Some slight of hand from the line cook brought our two cheeseburgers out of a precooked kettle and onto the waiting grill. Thirty seconds later we walked toward the cashier, unsure of what we had gotten ourselves into.

MyKenna’s was busy but nowhere near capacity so from entering the threshold of the restaurant to finding a seat in the corner by the window took only 7 minutes. That is where we first ran into trouble. Soggy fries and doughy buns really let down the side for the pro-carb crowd. Warnings of contaminated beef ringing in our ears we bit into said cheeseburgers. Fortunately all we got was bun the first couple of bites. We here at Burger Best Practices are in favor of two things; Crispy fries and toasted buns. Who’s with us? Evidently not the good folks at MyKenna’s. The burger itself was serviceable and could be eaten in a pinch. The problem was that it could have been so much more. War torn lettuce and flaccid pickle does not a good burger make.

We left MyKenna’s how we entered; Hungry for a good burger while pushing past glittering girls wearing too much make-up. Our new resolution in this grand culinary experiment is to take it one burger at a time and never eat a burger at a place that is just a stone’s throw literally and figuratively from Burger King.

Rating:

Big Ups

The deli section has delicious treats ranging from smackaroos to chocolate chip cookies.

Under Surveillance

The rest of the establishment leaves a lot to be desired. From the precooked patties to the soggy fries, this just isn't a burger place worth visiting.

Final Word: Stay Away unless you want a tasty treat.

___________________________________________________________________

Editors Note: There has been an overwhelming response from readers asking for pictures of the teenage cheerleaders. Since I didn't want to get arrested for taking pictures of scantily clad 16 year old girls I refrained from pulling the camera from my pocket. I decided to still try to get some pictures up here but just as I started typing the words, "Teenage Cheerleaders" into Google I realized how bad it would look if my wife walked in on me. So unfortunately there will be no pictures of cheerleaders in this review. I recommend watching the film "American Beauty" to interested parties.