Lyon’s Pub

Lyon’s Pub

16 S 6th St
Minneapolis, MN 55402
(612) 333-6612














Cost:

Marriot (Bacon Cheeseburger): $8
Coke: $2
Onions: $0.35
Ranch: $0.50
Tax: $1
Tip: 20%

Total: $14.22

One word I wish hadn’t entered the lexicon is “upcharge.” This word is so new that my spellcheck thinks I meant to type, “Uncharged.” No, spellcheck, you are wrong though I wish you were right. With gas reaching $5.00 a gallon and going to the movies costing well over $50 I really am not in the mood to be nickel and dimed. If I want mayo on my burger I expect it to be on the house. Onions? Since when were onions a rare commodity that required a separate charge? Don’t get me started about having ranch dressing on the side. I feel like I am spending my life gathering enough money so that I can go out to a decent meal without worrying about how much the freaking condiments are going to cost. “Would you like ketchup with that?” Used to be a simple pleasantry. Now it is cause for inner turmoil.

Lyons. Decent enough place. Pleasant atmosphere, especially with the large window open next to the table. The wait staff was friendly and the drinks were refilled promptly. The burgers were reasonable priced as well. Recipe for success, or so you’d think. Then came the upcharges. “Would you like some bleu cheese with that?” Why, sure! Thanks for asking! $0.50 later the bleu cheese is even more of a vehicle for a coronary than its ingredients would imply. Onion with your burger? $0.35. Ranch for your fries? $0.50. Surprise when you get the bill? Indeed. Now it may seem like adding a total of $1.35 to your bill isn’t that much to ask, but I ask you, where do we draw the line? Do I need to check to make sure the mustard isn’t going to cost me additional funds? My principles feel like Paris Hilton on the way to amateur porn night. I think they’re worth something but upon closer inspection I see that they’ve been violated so many times that I am well beyond caring about their credibility. But, no more! It stops. At Lyons.

The nuts and bolts. Everyone enjoyed their burgers even though the buns were not toasted. The fries however were terrible. They looked like they were crispy, which is a sure fire way to please us here at Burger BP, but in fact they were limp and charred. Pub burgers all seem to run together after a while. The difference maker then becomes the fries. And these fries are almost inedible. If the upcharges weren't so present I could maybe look past the fries considering the low initial cost of the burger. As it stands this was my first and last visit to Lyon's.


Rating:

Big Ups:

Good location, atmosphere and service.

Under Surveillance:

You see a $7.45 burger on the menu but will end up paying closer to $10.00.

Final Word:

Good burger overall, but the fries are iffy at best.

Hemorrhaging Hope

Months drift by like days and I am left wondering where my life went. There seems to be no distinct moment when things change. You always realize that you are living in a different reality much too late. One day you look up and realize the good old days passed by long ago. What you are left with is everything and nothing. I need a burger.

8th Street Grill

8th Street Grill


800 Marquette Ave.
Minneapolis, MN 55402
(612) 349-5717

Meals:

The Park Cafe $9.59 (Bacon Cheeseburger)

8th Street Burger $8.99 (Hamburger, Cheese 0.60 extra)

Tip:

The bacon cheeseburger and a cheeseburger cost the same. If you want free bacon go with the Park.

An old flame used to drink at 8th St. We'd head over after work and down a few Captain and Cokes while reliving that day's events. Not that there was much to relive. We both worked in eponymous office jobs, the only excitement coming from the empty lives of those around us. Better to talk about them than about myself though. Or about us. When it was unavoidable we'd look each other in the eyes and then quickly glance away. How often do you hold eye contact with someone for more than 5 seconds? It's intimate. More intimate than the motions we went through every Friday night. I did not want to admit that to me ours was a relationship of convenience, destined for nothing. For them we were building something for the future. Something good. In between drinks and gossip I would silently cringe about the inevitable. One day I paid my tab and left. I never looked back. I never went to 8th St Grill again. Until now.

8th St Grill is a place for power lunches for people who dress well and have have important things to discuss.The waitstaff expects a decent sized tip. So a departure from our usual fare. The atmosphere is nice, the waitstaff are nice, the burgers are nice and our tip was average. The burgers are 1/2 pounders cooked to order with quality toppings and fat ketchup bottles on the table. The fries were good.

Perhaps it is my history with the place, but I expected more. With tax and tip the meal comes to double what you pay for a burger at The Burger Place. And to be honest, the burgers taste better at The Burger Place. It's not just the different collars of the clientele. It is the food. You get a 1/2 pounder cooked to order, sure. But what do you sacrifice for that? I'd downgrade to a quarter pounder if it meant that I left satisfied and a little less poor than I was when I left my cube.

Rating:

Big Ups
Good burger, good fries in a nice atmosphere

Under Surveillance
I just felt like it could've been so much more

Final Word

A decent place to go with a big crowd as there is plenty of seating.

RIP Ginelli’s

Today marked the end of an era. Ginelli’s has discontinued their two for one deal on Thursday mornings. There was a time not long ago that office workers lined up throughout the skyways for a change to purchase one piece of pizza and get a second free. It was a right of passage for many who just started working downtown. I should have been suspicious by the drastic reduction in the number of people waiting this morning. We all overlooked the new sign. Instead of “Thursday 10:30-11:00 2 Slices for the Price of 1,” the new sign read, “2 Slices for $5.” Each slice normally cost $2.75. Do you think we don’t know basic math Ginelli’s workers?! I’m not eating two slices of pizza at 10:30 in the morning to save 50 cents. I am eating two slices of pizza at 10:30 in the morning because it is my right to do so as an American! An unfortunate soul from India was first in line. When he was charged $10 for 4 slices instead of the usual $5.50 he became belligerent. “I in America. I eat 4 pizza for slice of 2 pizza!” A nod to the new sign and a reference to the economic times left him downturned and helpless. Welcome to America, amigo.

The Burger Place

The Burger Place

501 Marquette Ave, Minneapolis

(612) 338-1213.

Credit cards accepted

Meals:

Cheeseburger with ketchup and mayo, and fries

Cheeseburger with everything and fries

Monday Special: $6.56
Regular Price: $5.45 for Burger and fries not including tax and beverage.

Review:
I wake up at 6:45 AM every day. It is usually dark outside and lately has been nuts cold. Monday mornings are the worst. I don’t care if it is cliché. Listening to my clock radio blare a static laden report on NPR I lay in the dark; Consciousness comes to me slowly, painfully. One thing and one thing only propels me out of bed on this day; a visit to The Burger Place a scant 5 hours into the future. If I am ever in a coma I really hope I have plans to eat out somewhere otherwise I fear I will always be lost in the abyss.

The Burger Place is festooned with award after award. So what if the City Pages is the only one giving out the Plaques? The Burger Connoisseurs arrived at 12:15 to find that there was no line. Surprising given that Monday is the day of the $5.95 special which consists of a cheeseburger, medium soda, and your choice of fries or salad. Our recommendation is to go with the fries, but then again, we aren’t paying your medical premiums. The set up of The Burger Place is cafeteria like in the very best, efficient, sense of the word. You walk in, grab a tray and shuffle through the assembly line. At the beginning you order and are given a number. At the end you pay and fill up your drink. What happens in-between depends on how interesting your thought life is. Oftentimes by the time you sit down your food will arrive at the same time you do.

In our case the lack of a queue was deceptive. Everyone was already sitting down. What’s nice about the way the space is set up is that if you are dining alone, one whole side of the room is bar style seating that looks out past the light rail and to a courtyard with some optimistic statues. The rest of the seating is Spartan and compact. Although the tables are spaced out by a few inches you can’t help but feel like you are part of a power lunch if a couple of business looking types sit at the table next to you. Sometimes I like to offer my own opinion on what the business types are discussing. “I’d foreclose, for sure,” I tell them between fries. “You know that a-hole Harris”, I continue, “He gives fuck-all about the interest rates in China.”

Today the place was packed tight. We squeezed into a table and waited all of three seconds for our burgers. The City Pages does not lie; These are some good burgers. Although the patty is a little on the thin and dry side, it is delicious. The slight tang of the mayo along with a slightly toasted bun complements the freshly cooked burger perfectly. The fries are crispy but need salt. The only complaint is that the lettuce is shredded iceberg rather that a whole leaf and if you say you want everything on your burger, everything does not include onions. Minor complaints overall. If you want a good burger fast you need look no further. The Burger Place delivers in ways I didn’t think were legal.

Rating:

Big Ups
Great tasting burger delivered quickly.

Under Surveillance
If you like privacy while you dine don’t go during peak hours.

Final Word

Award winning burger that delivers.

Ginelli's

Ginelli's Pizza

121 South 8th St. Minneapolis

612-332-6308

Ayyyyyy. I had just got done with some back seat bingo and I got to being hungry, you know? I walked by this joint, Ginelli’s and everyone was makin’ the scene there so I knew I had to get hip. Place reminded me of Al’s but without the juke box and no john. That’s cool though because they were serving two slices of pie for the price of one. BOOM! I snap my fingers and get some breadsticks for free.

Now let me tell you something you working stiffs. I don’t do the straight nine to five. Or eight to five as it seems to be these days. Couldn’t hack it myself. Don’t know how you people do. Sure I’ll punch the time clock at the garage when need be but I am a slave to no one. You need cable, a 401K and an iPod? Upgraded to the sports package? HBO? Try being a freegan. Now that is heavy, boy.

Back to the pizza and breadsticks. For$2.45, plus $1.35 for breadsticks, you get two pieces of pizza. Pick your poison. I went with sausage on top of sausage. I’ve been told that whenever I show up it turns into a sausage party. Don’t know why, but I always order sausage. I’ve had better, such as Al’s, but I must say it was a good solid pizza. I’d eat it again. The breadsticks were okay. I’ve had some in the past that are the most and others that are like eating woodies. Overall I give it three burgers.

Guest Poster Added

What we here at Burger Best Practices did not realize when starting a review style blog is that we are supposed to update it daily. Since we can only eat so many burgers we have enlisted the help of The Fonz to branch out and do a review of Ginelli's since he just went there today.